More of Whom?

Growing up in the church, I was fortunate enough to take part in many high energy meetings. Those attending “pressed into God”. We prayed passionately and worshiped intensely. God showed up in many of those meetings. Rich measures of the prophetic were released. There was a sense of God’s presence that would fill the room. What starts with effort must transition into rest. There is a place of abiding, and the enemy of abiding is striving.

The religious spirit will take a passion for God and warp it into a sincere but exhausting performance for God. It says, “You experienced some of God because you exerted effort in spiritual disciplines. You must increase your effort to keep experiencing God”. The resounding cry of “More of God!” seems authentic, but it can move from hunger to desperate hunger to just despair.

A few years ago, the Holy Spirit showed me a truth about what he wanted from me. During a time with him, God told me that there was a room deep inside my heart. He wanted to fill that room, but he could not get into it. I saw the room completely caked over with paper mache that been formed from newspaper. I had no idea what he was talking about. It was not until a time of soaking worship with friends that it came to me. God was telling me that words spoken by others had stuck to me. The reports and opinions of men that formed a hard shell, causing me to become closed off in a deep place of my heart. I would imagine that I am still walking out the application of what God showed me. Just as there was a span of time between revelation and understanding, there is a span of time where healing is taking place.

At a couple of times in the last decade, my prayer life has shifted just slightly. I have found myself moving from “God, give me more of you” to “God, have more of me”. There is a place of intimacy with God. We have to press through the distractions to reach that place. When we have reached a place of being able to hear God’s voice though, the most gracious Person in the universe is waiting for us. God is not moved by our effort. He drew us to himself. It is in that place of intimacy that God wants to experience us and to fill every part of who we are. I believe that the cry of God is that we would let him fill every part of our heart. He wants more of us.