Spoiled Things

One morning this week, I woke up thinking about the people that I need to continue forgiving. I have always had perfectionist standards for myself and for other people. It has led me to be disappointed and angry with myself, God, and many people whom I have walked with in my life. Forgiveness has been a struggle because to forgive meant accepting that things had not worked as I had hoped.

When I got out of bed, I found that our refrigerator door had opened up during the night. The fridge had been full of large dishes, and it could not quite contain its contents. I had to toss some food because it was above a safe temperature. It felt like a lesson from the Lord about forgiveness. God desires to use our daily lives to enable us for heavenly living. He has given us all things needed for life and godliness through the full and intimate knowledge of Jesus Christ.

This particular lesson allowed me to see forgiveness in a new light. In order to forgive, it is necessary to accept an important truth: Life events and relationship that we expected to nourish us and to delight us went bad. They simply spoiled. When I threw out food from the fridge, it was tempting to believe that the food might actually be OK and to keep it for consumption. To do so might have made me and my family sick. When we are unable to forgive, we are holding on to spoiled things because we are determined to keep living off those things. It is a refusal to accept that something went bad and that it is time to just let it go.

Once I disposed of the items that were questionable, it allowed me to move on and to focus on what was still good and what needed to be restocked. Forgiveness allows us to do the same thing. It does not make those things OK, but it allows us to move past what happened. Unforgiveness will make us emotionally sick because we are consuming things that have gone bad. It does not mean that we instantly forget what happened. It does mean that we can begin to replace our memories of what went bad with new things that nourish our hearts.

The Good Life

Everyone wants the good life. Here are two possible definitions of the “good life”. Regardless of your choice, the good life will cost you everything. The only difference is what you will gain in place of what you lost. You and I have this choice to make in general because we are on Earth and particularly become of the years ahead. It is that simple…

Choice #1:
This American system of ours, call it Americanism, call it capitalism, call it what you will, gives each and every one of us a great opportunity if we only seize it with both hands and make the most of it. - Al Capone

Choice #2:
This is the good life
I've lost everything
I could ever want
And ever dream of
This is the good life
I found everything
I could ever need
Here in Your arms
- Audio Adrenaline in Good Life

Deepest Desires

Last night, I dreamed of a church gathering. The theme given by the Holy Spirit was for people to write down the deepest desires of their heart. There was a group on stage who was praying with people about what they had written down. Someone asked if the desires could include things that we wanted God to change in our lives. The answer provided was to write down our heart desires in a honest fashion, just to tell God what was on our hearts. Initially, the leader intended to share each person's desires with the group as a whole. Due to possible discomfort within the group, they changed their mind and said that we would come back in the summer to share what we had written down.

The time was short and not everyone made it on stage, but I understood that I could continue the process after the service. As I contemplated the deepest desires of my heart and worked to put them on paper, a woman in the group stood up. She shared that God had spoke a word to her spirit when she had been at the airport. Then she began to sing a song to the Lord. As she sang, there was a clear sense that God was calling us to move from a focus on our desires to a focus of praising him. Everyone stood and joined the woman in the song of praise to God.

Afterwards, a man came to me to let me know of someone who had recently spent time in a mental institution. Apparently, I had spoken a word over them that they were at risk for paranoia and they had not followed through with a response that would have prevented such an incident.

I believe that God is probing our hearts and wants us to be honest with him about what we deeply desire. As we place our desires before him, he will turn our hearts to praise him. He is worthy of our focus. It does not mean that our desires are not important, but it does mean that we must worship Father in spirit and in truth. In this time, the alternative is a deep fear that "dreams" of all the ways that we could be not taken care of, not protected, and not provided for. It is time for us to dream of the hopeful future that God has placed within our hearts and to praise him for what he has done our behalf and for who he is.

Like the woman in the airport, we are waiting on God to propel us further than we could ever go in our strength. As our hearts are open before him and as we praise him, we will find that he fulfils godly heart desires in the proper season.

Does God Hide?

We have often heard the verse that starts out, "if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then...". Why would God's people need to seek God's face? Because God hides his face from his people when they claim his name but live in wickedness. God calls us to himself and continually convicts us. It is possible for us to enter into a place of believing that we will be untouched by the coming catastrophes and yet be mistaken. Though Micah 3 was originally about the nation of Israel, the nature of God toward his people is unchanging.

4 Then they will cry to the Lord,

But He will not hear them;

He will even hide His face from them at that time,

Because they have been evil in their deeds.

And later in the chapter:
11 Her heads judge for a bribe,
Her priests teach for pay,
And her prophets divine for money.
Yet they lean on the Lord, and say,
“Is not the Lord among us?
No harm can come upon us.”
12 Therefore because of you
Zion shall be plowed like a field,
Jerusalem shall become heaps of ruins,
And the mountain of the temple
Like the bare hills of the forest.

There are hard days coming upon the US and the world. It is intended in part to purify those who claim to belong to Jesus. May our confidence be true faith and not presumption! When the economy collapses, the banks close, and there is no food on the grocery shelves, it will terrible for those who have not lived in the place of intimate obedience. Samson operated in a powerful gift even while he was in the midst of comprise. In a moment, he lost it all. May we be spiritually ready lest God hide his face from us in the day of trouble. Though we call out to him at that time, he will not hear us until we have turned from our wicked ways.

Performance Tracking?

I am still thinking about a dream that I had earlier this week. I dreamed of a roller coaster. On it, drove a small car that raced up and down its tracks. It seemed as though it must be breaking speed records, but then I wondered, “How would I know if it is actually going as fast as I think it is?”. The answer came in the form of a small jet plane. It cruised right along with the car. No matter how fast the car went or which turns it took, the plane stayed faithfully with it. The nose of the plane stayed within inches of the car as it zoomed along. It appeared to be the perfect answer to the question of performance tracking. As the dreamed ended, one important piece of information was revealed: The plane was named "Shame”.

Performance is very much like a roller coaster. I have days where I am looking over the landscape of my life and other days where I cannot see beyond the dirt under my chin. It is the natural flow of my life. I cannot maintain a high level of performance, but thankfully, I never stay in the valley indefinitely.

I am learning that the need to measure my performance is based out of my humanity and my desire to save myself. Any time that I think that I might be performing well, it seems helpful to ask myself, “Do I feel acceptable now?”. I suspect shame and perfectionism are closely connected because the answer will always be, “No, not acceptable yet. You need to perform at a higher level, but you can proud of how you much you are doing to perfect yourself!”. It leads to comparing myself with others who seem to perform at a much higher level which in turn leads to envy, self-loathing, and finally, a more intensive effort to perform. Yikes, that was exhausting just to write about!

I am in the middle of walking this out. I believe that Jesus will not abandon me. I know that God will bring me to a place where I do not equate intense labor with acceptability. Recently, I dreamed of being in the workplace. It was a familiar setting, but I was different inside. As I quietly worked, I noted that straining in my work was no longer a requirement to feel that my contribution was effective. There is a time coming for me when I will be able to enjoy life and to enjoy relationship without being self-centered in my perspective. I am continually praying for the grace of God to keep moving in that direction.

Giving Up My Religion

This week, I dreamed of a visit by Jesus to Earth. I saw a large restaurant/bar before me. Around it hovered a cloud of dust that hung like smoke. From the building came the sound of many voices in mingled conversation. I had the sense that the people inside were of this world's system and not of those who knew Jesus as Lord. Jesus stepped up to the outside of the building and began to blow with his lips. The dust gradually dissipated until the air was clear. He started to speak to the people that were inside. He was not angry, but he spoke with a firm voice. At first, no one heard him. As he continued to speak, people started to hear his voice until all were silent.

I could not make out what he was saying, but his tone was amazing. He spoke with an authority that made it easy to yield to him. As I stood listening, I bowed my heart before him. It occurred to me that I would be happy to spend forever listening to the sound of his voice. It made me feel very secure inside. Once he was done speaking to the people in the building, he approached me briefly. I do not have a clear understanding of what he did next in the dream, but what he did carried a clear meaning: Jesus is not religious at all. As the dreamed ended, I was saying, "I might have to give up my religion". I had discovered that Jesus was something more than I had imagined him to be, and I knew that I would have to let go of what I wrongly thought what he was.

Growing up as a Christian, I knew that Jesus was not like those of this world's system, those that we call "worldly people". So, I imagined that he had to be like us Christians. After all, we are his representatives to a lost world, so he must be like us. I do not believe that I ever thought it explicitly, but it seemed to be a logical assumption. The truth that I get from my dream is this: Jesus is not worldly but neither is he religious. Generally, I would consider myself to be very non-religious, but my proof is only that I am less in this way or that way than those folks from the church across town. To be honest, that sounds a little like the self-righteous man who justified himself before God because he was not like worldly people.

Jesus is not like us. God is in the process of shaping our inner person to resemble Jesus' character, and we are called to represent him. In spite of those facts, I am not very like him, nor do I represent him well to others. Do not get me wrong. I often think that he belongs my school of thought. I congratulate myself inside that I represent him better than some other folks. The reality though is that he does not think the way that I do. He is not religious like I am.

As Father begins to pour out his Spirit about the Earth, Jesus will encounter both the worldly and the believing. We are going to find out very quickly that he is everything that he says is and yet far different that what we confidently believed he was. We have compared him to ourselves and have believed that he is just like us. We are about to find out just how wrong we were and how wonderful he actually is. As we start to receive a deeper revelation of who Jesus is, we will either be so offended that we will hate him or we will be changed to resemble him as he truly is. He is not religious like we are today, and he is coming to strip religion from us.

Grace for Division

Everyone loves the idea of unity. There have been many efforts to unite different parts of the US Church. They have been groups that sought to create coalitions between secular organizations and the Church. They has even been some work done to form common ground between Christianity and other world religions. I suspect that very few people in the US Church would feel comfortable hearing or declaring a message of division and disunity.

In the midst of the attempts to create unity, the focus has been on the superficial. We have tried to find the lowest common denominator so that we could build from there. The time is soon coming when the issues will come to the forefront in a way that forces us to focus on the heart of the disagreements. The result will be a season of intense division and disunity. Many hearts will be pierced by the troubles that are coming.

In Matthew 10, Jesus told us that he had not come to bring peace to the Earth but division. He will not allow our affections for him to be watered down. Anything that runs contrary to a Christ-centered walk is non-negotiable. In the conflict that is coming to the Church, neighbor will fight against neighbor because we can only one First Love. There must be division because unity is the joining of two parties. We cannot be both joined to Christ and joined to the things that break his heart. When the fighting has ceased, it will appear at first that it was the work of the flesh. It is easy to believe that anything that causes division and disunity is of the enemy. Once the final tally has been made though, it will be shown that God gave grace for division in order to bring about greater unity between himself and his bride.

Kingdoms Made Manifest

Most people are safe today from being exposed to raving mad, demonized individuals. The ones who have been overwhelmed by the voices of demons are probably largely medicated or institutionalized. Not all, but some of the men and women who wander the streets homeless might also be in their number. There is a day coming to the US when these tormented ones will no longer be hidden away. The kingdom of darkness is coming out of the shadows until it is made manifest in broad daylight.

It will be somewhat common to hear of violent men who beat up strangers for no apparent reason. In the movie Batman Begins, there is a scene in which part of the city is cut off so that a mind warping drug can be dispersed. The affected people are horribly overwhelmed by fearful visions until they mindless hurt anyone who comes into their path. This is a vivid representation of what is coming to the US.

The Kingdom of God will also be made manifest. Through the blood stained cross, Jesus destroyed the enemy’s authority. We will begin to see the kingdom that Jesus established through and in his Church move outside of buildings and onto the sidewalks. The only question will be what kingdom you are actually operating out of.

In Acts 19, the seven sons of Sceva claimed the authority of Jesus as their own in order to deliver a demonized man. The demon was not fooled and used the man to beat the daylights out of them. The name “Sceva” means “disposed, prepared”. These boys grew up in church because their daddy was a chief priest. They considered themselves willing and able to confront the kingdom of darkness. They were wrong about having the right to operate under the authority of Jesus because they were subjects of the kingdom of darkness.

 In the kingdoms that will be made manifest, it will be clear who is of which kingdom. If your authority has been granted to you from having regularly attended church, listening to countless sermons, and having been trained by human experts, you are going to get the tar beat out of you by the enemy! It is going as much a shock to many believers as it was to the sons of Sceva. Now is the time to dig deep in Christ. Find out who you are based on what the Word of God and the Spirit of God has to say about you. Let God taper with your heart so that the idols can be torn down and your inner being filled to the fullest with the kingdom and authority of Jesus Christ.

The New Outcasts

If you profess Jesus, there is a sign meant for you that will hang in local businesses. It is not there today, but there is a day coming when the sign in the window will say, “No Christians Served Here”. If you walk in, you will not need to tell them that you are a believer in Jesus. They will look at you and know. The same good and moral people today will be the same good and moral people tomorrow except that they will hate you. In fact, it will be their goodness and morality that will cause them to loathe you. In the same way that it is considered acceptable to hate a child molester today, it will be considered noble to hate a Christian in the future time. They will hate you because it is “all your fault”.

Many wish in their hearts, “Oh, that God would allow me to bear his glory!”. The evidence of bearing God’s glory today involves human awe and many natural realm benefits. In the day to come, you will know that you bear the glory of God when you are openly hated without cause. The highest heavenly calling is to love those who hate you, to bless those who curse you, and pray for those who despitefully use you. It is this calling that will accompany the glory of God.

There is a whisper in the air that says, “There is a New Age dawning”. There is indeed, but it will be a day of darkness. The heart of man will grow cold and unfeeling. In this new age, you will be the outcasts. People will look at you and say, “It is a shame, really. They were offered a great deal, but they chose to be obstacles to progress. Shame on them for not getting with the program”.

Today is the season in which we must count the cost. How much do you require of Jesus to be loyal to him? The benefits of professing him are currently much greater than the cost. Many will change their minds about Jesus when the cost becomes higher than the benefits.

Out of Storage

One morning last week, I was on my way to work when I saw something that momentarily startled me. I saw a company truck for a communications company that I thought was a thing of the past. The logo on the vehicle appeared to be faded. When things are “highlighted”, it is one of the ways that God speaks. This is what I believe he was saying.

In the move of God that is soon coming to our nation and presumably to the whole world, we are going to see some older faces. They are those who were part of previous moves of God. Those revivals were amazing, but they are history from our current perspective. Many faithful believers that were part of those heavenly encounters faded from the scene as life went on. They have been in storage, seemly having been put on a shelf. God will going to bring back at least some of those folks for an “all hands on deck” event.

Heaven's Joyful Song

Today was one of those challenging days at work. By the end of the day, I was tired and somewhat discouraged of heart. I ran across a word that God gave me a year ago. It breathed fresh life into me.

From 8/2013:

For those who abide in Christ, there is only good news. There are no "good news, bad new" jokes. There is only increase and growth throughout all the adversity that might come. We are those who carry the standard of Jesus Christ. Our very footprints glow with the Light of the good news. Wherever we go, we go as those who sing the Anthem of the Eternal Kingdom.

Those in darkness have been seen a Light coming. It rises on the Horizon, and that Light is us. We are the sons and daughters of Daddy made manifest in the Earth. Oh, they will say, "The pendulum swings from side. We have good news one day and terrible news the next", but this is only the echoes of the times past. There is a new Kingdom coming onto the Earth. It is being formed from the rough material of humanity as the Spirit of God rises within those who know that they in Christ and in Christ alone.

They are those who rise up as Ehud to deliver the land from wickedness. They are those who are being drawn from out of timidity and hiding to call together an army of the fearless. They rush the streets, calling this one and that to come out of hiding in the natural and to step into their Kingdom identity. Can you hear the sound of them and of the growing footsteps on the pavement? They are an army of worshippers. They fear no man! They carry instruments of worship with which to do battle.

They stand in the noble towers and invade the darkest alley. They are the reborn men and women of God. They range in age from the smallest child to the oldest elder in our midst. They have no sense of age and no fear of man's disapproval. They are filled with the Spirit of the One who is the Ancient of Days and who was born as a little baby. Out they go, they stream from intersection to intercession. The lost and the broken who roam through high school halls and those who shout at the New York Stock Exchange are about to visited by those bearing Heaven's message of deliverance.

That which is wicked and that which has mocked righteousness in the land will soon by overwhelmed by the Sound. What is the squeak of a mouse in front of the roar of a lion? What does darkness have that Light cannot instantly dispose of? Oh, they say, "The World shifts back and forth. Rulers comes and rulers fall. We need someone who carries Truth". It will come, quietly at first and then rising until the news carries the News. The News of the Kingdom will stand more boldly than our Statue of Liberty.

A greater liberty is being declared, a freedom from chains of sin and depravity. A greater anthem will be sung than even our beautiful National Anthem. What is darkness in the face of Light? The song bubbles up in the hearts of the young and the old. It comes phrase by phrase and note by note. It builds and it joins with neighbor's tune. It is beautiful, so very beautiful.

It is composed of Spirit and joined by human hearts in love with Jesus and with each other. There is no one left out, no unneeded vocalist. All remain silent and in awe as each releases the piece that eternity's maker wrote on their heart. It is the very reality of Heaven superimposed on the landscape of our country. They are the choir of Heaven, the evergreens that have overcome the bitter storms of this world's realm. The wind of the Spirit blows between them, among them, and is birthed from them. All of evil's cry is little more than feedback in the speakers. It is the annoying but short-lived response of Hell to the resounding of Heaven's joy released in the Earth.

Time for an Upgrade and for Bigger Dreams

Last night, I dreamed that I was at work. Apparently, there had been plans to do an upgrade or else to do major maintenance work on the computer servers. It would require significant downtime, and so the work had been pushed out another weekend. Specialized people with the necessary technical knowledge would be coming onsite to help do the work. While I was aware of this situation, my boss gave me a creative writing assignment. She prefaced it by saying, “Before California officially made abortion illegal, the people of California first passed a proposition to make it illegal”.

Many of us in the Body of Christ have been aware of the need for a Church-wide “system maintenance” and an upgrade of our relationship with the Lord. Seemingly, it has been deferred, but it will yet happen. God will supply the specialized people needed to assist and to guide this work as well. We have been ready to move forward in our human labors, but God requires that we enter a time of rest so that His work can be done in us. Be ready to move forward into Heaven's rest.

God is about to bring about changes in our country that are beyond what we had imagined possible. When you begin to hear the news of what God is doing in other parts of the country and of the Body, it is an invitation to start dreaming bigger. What God desires to do in your locale will flow from a place of creative dreams in your own heart. It is not automatic. It requires an effort to step into the creative flow, but God will meet you there in that place.

The Agenda of God’s Rest

This week, I dreamed that I was at a public worship event. I sat in a large oval amphitheater. I do not remember anyone singing. It was though everyone present was just sitting in their seats. Suddenly, a fog began to fill the arena. It thickened as it came. Though I have never seen this manifestation in real life, I knew instantly that this was the manifest Presence of God. I closed my eyes and chose to simply rest in this place. Off to one side of me, a man spoke up. He was offering his opinion about what we should do next. He was not prompted by the Holy Spirit. He spoke out of his own earthly wisdom. Immediately, the visible Presence of God lifted, everyone got out their seats, and left the amphitheater. It was very disappointing.

In my teen years, I wanted two things in life more than anything else. I wanted to know/experience/be intimately connected with God, and I wanted to be used by Him to serve others. Experiencing God’s Presence was such a wonderful treat that I determined inside that I did not qualify for it. To make up for that, I made an internal covenant with myself that I would strenuously serve God outwardly and pray inwardly until I felt deserving. It never worked well. The only time that I could really enjoy God was when I used my spiritual gifts to minister to others. It was in those moments that I become a conduit that I experienced the touch of God flowing through me. Of course, I did so with the knowledge that I was serving others mostly so that I could get a taste of what God was giving them through me. I am not exactly where I was in my teen years. I have been healed enough to see how broken I was then, and how broken I am now. The difference might be that I know that God wants to be with me now, right here in my brokenness.

God will allow his people to slave away for him as the older brother did, but then we are not really working with him. The younger brother who has completely failed and yet been lavished with kindness is the one who rests in Father’s Presence. I believe that we are approaching a time when God will manifest in amazing ways, but there is a price to be paid: Our agendas must die. Our labors must cease. We must be willing to rest in his Presence. There will be a time to be used by him and to labor with him, but we must be willing to become saturated in the atmosphere of his glory first. Heaven will not partner with fleshly effort. God is still looking for those who would worship him in spirit and in truth.

Radiant Love

Have you ever stood close enough to a person who is overflowing with the Spirit of God that you felt God’s Presence radiating from them? There are plenty of anointed people who can function in a spiritual gift, but there is a difference when someone is releasing the Presence of God from their being. Those are people that I just want to sit near so that I can soak in that atmosphere.

Last night, I dreamed that a man walked by where I was standing. Later in the dream, I found out that he was another believer, but I did not know that in the beginning of the dream scene. He was an ordinary middle age man, but he had something special flowing from his being: Love. When he walked by me, I felt very tangible love moving outward from him.

As Christians, we try to love people, both through an emotional affection and through practical kindness. Oftentimes, I find that it is a love that is intentionally produced for a specific person or group. This love in the dream was different. It was warm and inviting, and yet, it was an identity in itself. It did not exist solely for my benefit or as a response to me. It existed and was stable in itself. It radiated from the man in the dream. I wanted to walk up to him and hug him just so that I could keep experiencing this love.

It gives me hope that God will yet release a love through us that will be radically different than what our best efforts can produce. This dream also inspires a renewed hunger in my heart for the love that I experienced. There is more to the Presence of God that we can imagine. Jesus is complete and stable in his own person, and he invites us to enter into his Presence.

Ownership of the Harvest

Last night, I dreamed of a coming harvest, an in-gathering, a revival of the peoples. It occurred in the workplace. I saw rapid growth of what had been planted and which had germinated. Jesus said to me, “This is MY flock; I will gather it. This is My harvest; I will grow it”. There is a coming revival that will be different than what we have seen before. Jesus is taking personal ownership of these ones coming into the sheep fold. Notice that he did not tell me that it would be his flock and his harvest, as in a future tense. Even though the flock is yet to be gathered and the harvest grown, Jesus sees them as already existing and as belonging to himself. He has envisioned it, and he will bring it to past.

Oceans in Small Places

Even though I have grown up, there is a particular phenomenon that I still find fascinating. As a young boy, I was introduced to the sound of the ocean within spiral seashells. I understand the science of what causes the effect, but it does not decrease its wonder. In fact, it points to a deeper truth: Those who have trusted in Jesus as Master have the sound of the ocean within their heart.

In this modern time, more Christian activity is equated to greater devotion. There must be an outworking to our faith, but sometimes the greater things are hidden in smaller places. Before Jesus came, people had to travel to a building to meet with God. Now, the hope of glory is Christ in us. It is more than a theological truth. There is the sound of the ocean in our heart.

Many believers spend a great deal of effort in the obtaining of head knowledge. Without a knowledge of God’s nature as revealed in the Bible, we can fall into all sorts of error, so there is wisdom in learning the Word. The problem is that we often stop at head knowledge. There are wonderful analogies for this to include being so content with the restaurant menu that we starve to death at the table while the kitchen stands ready to feed us or living at the welcome booth when the brochures are meant to introduce us to what lies ahead.

One of the challenges is that there is so much background noise and so much motion that we cannot hear the Spirit of God who resides within us. This has been particularly difficult for me. Growing up, I gained the understanding that to be in God’s Presence required constant activity. I doubt that anyone intentionally taught me that, but I was told that clearing your mind while waiting on God was a door to the demonic. It has been a long road for me to unlearn what I was taught. From what I have read, Eastern mysticism does include a discipline of blocking out all thoughts and even all feelings in order to focus on the sense of “nothingness”. That is not what I talking about.

A few years back, I had a distinct dream in which I was staying at someone’s home. I was apparently recovering from some illness or damage though I was not aware of anything physically wrong with me. One morning, I got up early. When I walked out into the living area, the father of the house was sitting on the couch. With great boldness, I quietly sat on the couch next to him. After a while, I gently and affectionately laid my head on his shoulder. I never said a word to him, but I was very much in his presence.

Soaking worship in a group setting has been an occasional part of our life. I have spent many a session praying frantically and trying to connect with God. Recently, I asked the Holy Spirit what I should be getting out of these times. He spoke to my heart these words: “Be aware of my presence and acknowledge my nearness”.

God requires more reliance and more quiet trust that we know. Activity will come and obedience has a tangible form, but it must proceed from a place of trust. Can you hear the sound of the ocean in your heart? Draw near to the often invisible but very real Presence of God.

Avalanche Refresh

Steve Hill released a prophetic word two years ago about a coming spiritual avalanche. The full word was posted at the Charisma News site, and a fuller explanation was posted on the main Charisma site.

In a dream last night, I recalled Steve’s word. I was walking at the top of a snow-covered peak. I watched as a stainless steel cannon ball was fired at the upper levels of the sloop. It was meant to cause an avalanche. Based on Steve’s word, I would consider this to be an action that was initiated by God, but it was still a dangerous situation. There was no need to fear though for those with the right footwear. Those who walked on the peaks wearing sandals did not need to be afraid of the avalanches. For me, sandals speak of humility and a simplicity of trust in Jesus. It is an uncomplicated, unsophisticated faith that causes us to work out our salvation with fear and trembling.

I woke up this morning thinking about the goodness of God. In particular, I was focused on the intentionally of God’s goodness. The world at large can accept that God loves them, but I think that there is an assumption that God’s love is an automatic action, a default state if you will. It is almost as though we imagine God as being "accidentally kind". In reality, God has gone out of his way to show us kindness, mercy, patience, and forgiveness.

It is through a relationship of trust with Jesus that we are saved. I grew up hearing that we trust in and adhere to Jesus in order to be saved. That is true and yet, the focus is off. We trust in and adhere to Jesus because of who He is: He is the only begotten Son of God. He is the manifestation of the radiance of God’s glory. He is the righteous and holy judge before whom we all will give account of our lives. It is out of a recognition and a proper response to who Jesus is that we enter into relationship with him. Out of that context flows the care and intentional kindness of God.

Nevertheless the solid foundation of God stands, having this seal: “The Lord knows those who are His,” and, “Let everyone who names the name of Christ[c] depart from iniquity.” – 2 Timothy 2:19

As we focus our hearts on the nature of God, we will stand secure on the solid foundation of God. There is no slippery slope for us when we walk in a humble recognition of who God is and of who are before him.

A Different Sort of Stamina

I have had various dreams and prophetic experiences in which I saw hard times ahead. I have shared with others that God is creating within us endurance for what is on the horizon. Others have seen and predicted economic collapse and civil unrest. Accordingly, I usually think about stamina in the content of standing strong in the midst of overwhelming pressure and sadness. Today though, I had a thought come to mind as I was walking around my workplace, “What if God is developing in us a stamina for joy?”

In March of 2010, I had an amazing dream about a coming revival. In the dream, I was with a group of believers. One of them made a rough calculation of how many people had accepted Jesus as their Lord and Savior in the last 2,000 years. To give us a visual representation, they filled a glass jar halfway to the top with water. As we observed, the water in the jar continued to increase as more people in our day came to a personal trust in Jesus. In an approximately 2 year period, the water filled the jar to the very top. We were experiencing true revival. People were not debating the gospel with believers: They knew the basic facts, and they had a personal conviction that they needed to get right with Jesus. The most exciting part of the dream was I knew that we would empty the jar to allow for more water to fill it. When we did, I knew that the greatest increase was yet to come!

In Luke 15:10, Jesus told us, “Likewise, I say to you, there is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.” If one person coming to trust in Jesus causes joy in Heaven, what would it be like if millions of people came to trust in Jesus? It would be wave after wave after wave of joy. Can we handle that much heavenly joy?

It is my belief that our lives will intersect and interact with Heaven’s realities in a greater way in the coming years. Many of our ideas about God comes from our earthly experiences rather than heavenly experiences. The darkness of this world has given a certain religious glimmer to soberness and sadness. What if we are destined to experience a greater level of heavenly joy than we have ever known? If that is the case, it is time for God to give us greater stamina for joy.

Ice Cream Makers and Sabbath Rest

Two weekends ago, I commented to a friend that I would love to have a hand-crank ice cream maker. My family owns a small electric unit, but the concept of making ice cream purely by hand seemed magical. That next week, I walked into the local thrift store. There on the shelf, it waited for me: An original Richmond Cedar Works hand-crank ice maker.

I knew that God had postured me to receive it. There was something to cause me minor concern though. I paid $6 for it. Later in the week, I found myself researching the prophetic meaning of the number six. Among other things, it can mean “Human labor contrasted with God’s rest” and “Rest (six full days bring us to seven : rest)”. There was an immediate connection between the concept of human labor and laboring to make ice cream, but I could not reconcile that with the belief that God had blessed me with the unit.

On the following Sunday, we mixed up the ice cream custard base, purchased ice, and got to business. We cranked and cranked and cranked. We figured that the ice cream would be ready when the crank was too hard to push. Sadly, the plastic beater broke in half. No more ice cream maker.

I was deeply confused by this. How could God bless me with a hard to find item and then allow it to be so easily broken? It was only as I thought about the $6 that it came together for me: We are moving from our labors into the time of God’s Sabbath rest. What worked in those six previous days will no longer suffice on the Sabbath.

Many of us have worked hard for God. We have seen little fruit for our labors, and we have taken comfort in the sweat, tears and sacrifices that we have made for God. Now, it is the end of our labors. God is about to do something in our time that cannot be earned. It cannot be qualified for through human labor. He is causing every place of “Look at what I accomplished for you, God!” to be broken beyond repair. We are beginning to transition from boasting of our works to boasting of God’s works.

Do not grow discouraged as your best achievements unravel. The brokenness being produced will allow God to use us in a way that far surpasses our finest labors. It is just the end of who we are in this world’s system and the beginning of who we are in Christ. Abandon the ideals of human perfection and acceptance. It is time to sit in Daddy’s arms and know that we are loved as His children.

Yielding

I have always, always struggled in my relationship with God. That is not to say that I have struggled to live a moral life, but I have struggled to relate to God properly. I can understand the older brother’s perspective in Jesus’ parable about the prodigal son. During my teen years, I received a couple of prophetic words that instructed me to stop striving, to stop laboring. It never made sense to me. What does “not striving” look like, practically speaking?

Over the years, I have learned to rest a little more in God, but it is still a largely unresolved area for me. Last week, God gave me a picture of what he is looking for. I was asking him how to better align with him or something to that affect. Immediately, I saw a mental picture of a railroad.

This is what it meant to me: I get to wait on God in the same way that I would wait on a train. He is stronger than me, and he wants to carry the loads of my life. He has promised me things, and like the rail cars that seem to stretch out into the distant horizon, what he has promised will move forward and come to past in his timing.

Words that Wound

I have been reading Journal of the Unknown Prophet. One of its prophetic words talks about how the enemy uses us to hurt each other when we give into the urge to defend ourselves. We seek to save our life by exposing the error of others and in doing so, we lose the life that God wants us to have. This particular message deeply resonated with me.

As that word sank deep into my spirit, I had two troubling dreams that sharpened the focus. I have never considered myself to be a gossip, but I do find myself complaining about others when their expectations seem excessive. Many times, I have grumbled aloud about coworkers who needed more than what I felt that I could reasonably provide. I know that it is wrong, and my response is usually to reassure myself that it could be worse and to commit to trying harder.

A week ago, I dreamed two dreams over the course of two nights. In the first, someone held down another man. As they did, I stabbed him through the heart. I was not angry about it. In fact, it felt like an inconvenient thing that had to be taken care of. Later in that dream, I had doubts about what I had done. A brother in Christ reassured me that it was the right thing to do. He said that it was OK because it was “self-defense”.

The next night, I dreamed that there was small but annoying alligator in my neighborhood. I moved him to someone else’s neighborhood. Other time, the alligator killed everyone in the other neighborhood. It was only later that I began to realize the gravity of what I had done. I went back to check on the alligator. I was careful, but he surprised me. He had grown from a small creature into one larger than me. Now, he wanted to eat me. I left the dream knowing the enemy wants to use me to hurt other people and then to hurt me too.

I was deeply troubled by these dreams. The first dream showed me that my “little sin” of complaining about others was spiritual murder. The second demonstrated with crystal clarity the way that a small habit of sharp remarks could devour others and grow into a monster that would eat me alive. To see myself this way is less than flattering and deflates the confidence of self-improvement.

Out of these dreams, I am coming to understand that I cannot change myself but neither can I treat lightly this sin of words that wound. I am getting a glimpse of why we need Jesus. He did not come just to save us from Hell. He came to save us from sin. I cringe to think how gross my own iniquity is before God….and from this, I find hope: Jesus came to remove me from all unrighteousness. He promises that as I tell the truth about how he sees my sin, he will cleanse from all unrighteousness.

Seasonal Visions

There was a season in which my family met with a small Sunday morning church group. We utilized a projector for our worship service. Eventually, the church shrunk and dispersed. We inherited the projector to use for both soaking worship and entertainment. The projector bulb burned out after many hours of use. Last night, I dreamed about the projector.

In my dream, someone came looking for the projector. They wanted to use it again for church services. I explained that the bulb had died. When I searched for the unit itself, it was found to have been recalled and removed from our reach.

“Moses My servant is dead. Now therefore, arise, go over this Jordan, you and all this people, to the land which I am giving to them—the children of Israel. Every place that the sole of your foot will tread upon I have given you, as I said to Moses...” – Joshua 1:2-3

The gifts and callings of God are without recall, but God releases and later recalls seasonal visions. Visions provide the strategy for parts of the journey, and as such, they are transient. My dream reminded me of visions that have served their purpose and then burned out. The vision of God did not fail, but rather, it fulfilled its intended purpose. When a vision has reached its end of life, we are left waiting for the next step to take. It can be tempting to put the old vision back into service, but we cannot go back. Each vision is a foundation for the upcoming vision.

My desire is to trust God to impart the vision for this next season. My heart wants to go back and find comfort in what used to work, but that vision is dead now. It is time to arise and cross into a new land. The promises of God are ahead of me, and he will be faithful to continue what he has begun in my life.

Seek First

Everything that Jesus said and everything written in the Word is subject to the filters that we possess. I was thinking about Matthew 6:33 this morning, “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.” This verse requires a contextual understanding and an emotional wholeness to be properly received.

I treasure rules because rules guarantee outcomes. I gravitate toward principles in the Word and in the Christian walk because they help to predict what is coming next. Many books have been sold because they were rich in the study of biblical principles. I cannot speak for others, but much of my love of rules and principles is centered in distrust. Internally, I have used these abstractions to force God to be predictable.

The context of Matthew 6 is that our greater reward is yet to come, and that we are deeply loved right now. Jesus came to set us free from living for the here and now so that we could love God and others without being consumed by our own needs. At this point in my life, this is a hard truth for me. I know that Jesus’ character is being formed in me, and yet, I do not trust God the way that I should. I am growing convinced though I will not accomplish anything of lasting value except that I am willing to die to my way of getting it.

I am still learning how to walk this out. This is a heart thing. It is not a matter of having no desires or no needs. It is not a matter of trading obedience for provision. It is a relational trust that once fully developed will allow me to suffer gracefully and to love those who do not understand me. Such an outcome is daunting to consider, but I draw encouragement from Peter. Over time, God grew Peter from self-sufficiency to become the shepherd that he was called to be. I know that God can do the same for me.

Highlighting

Over the years, I have learned that God wants to speak to us in different ways. I grew up being taught that the Holy Spirit will cause verses to stand out, to be highlighted when we read the Bible. That is quite true, and I have experienced it. For me, it has expanded beyond time spent in the Word. The Holy Spirit will also highlight everyday objects and events.

One particular day about year or so ago, I was doing something very common and maybe a little bit boring. I was driving around trying to get the best deal that I could on gas for the car. It is my desire to be a good steward of what God has given my family, so I shop for deals. In this case, I had intended to get gas at a particular station, but the one nearest me was only two cents more a gallon. As I drove into the station, the sign caught my attention. The price displayed was $3.35 and the time was 3:34. That meant that I was there at the exact time so as to make my time and my fill up price the same by the time that I pumped gas. I believe that the Holy Spirit was speaking to me about a coming season.

Even in the place where we have done our best to honor God, there is a release of grace coming to us. The number three is about divine fullness. In our humanity, we can never be enough, but God is able to complete what is lacking in us. The number five is about grace and abundance. God is taking us into a place that we will not recognize until we step into it, and we will be arrive exactly when we are supposed to be there. It is a season where God will cause us to become perfected and made complete. It will be followed by a release of his grace and abundance. God is going fill us up for the next leg of our journey with him.

God is always speaking, but we miss much of what he is saying because we only expect him to speak at certain times and in certain ways. This week, be open to hearing God in new ways.

The Beauty of Shades and Variations

 We are a society that thrives on finding the right answers. On any given topic, you might be hopelessly confused, searching for perfection, or an expert at it now. For as long as I can remember, I have had a hunger for perfection. This drive has inspired others and yet, it can be exhausting. The danger of seeking “perfect” is that it does not actually exist. 

“To everything there is a season, and a time for every matter or purpose under heaven” - Ecclesiastes 3:1 (AMP)

This morning as I asked God for his advice about my life, I saw leaves turning colors and falling from a tree. Perfection is measured and often has a stated goal. Life is different. It is organic and ever changing. When I think of the many shades and variations of a tree in the fall, I could take one of two approaches: I could say that it is a completely disorganized mess, or I could embrace the beauty of it. With God’s help, I choose to embrace the precious chaos of life and to appreciate its imperfections.

What You Need to Know Right Now

The night before last, I dreamed that I gave a general prophetic word to a young girl. She might have been seven or eight years old. After I gave her the word, her father asked to speak with me. He was very distraught, and I wondered if I had upset him. As he talked, I began to understand his frustration. His daughter was sick. She was not gaining weight and was not growing the way that she should. This father’s heart was filled with worry over his daughter’s future. 

The mother stepped in the room and poured out her concerns about medical care. They were a family of financial means, but the bills were overwhelming. I told them that I did not have all the answers and in fact, I did not have any answers. The mother gave a short cry of despair at that. Then, I told them what they needed to know, “God loves you”. It was not a trite thing to say. Something deeper was being communicated in those three words, “Even though what you are going through is crazy and even though you have no answers for why this is happening, God deeply cares for you. He is for you”.

“You number my wanderings; Put my tears into Your bottle; Are they not in Your book? When I cry out to You, Then my enemies will turn back; This I know, because God is for me.” – Psalm 56:8-9 (NKJV)

Whatever is happening today, you need to know that God is for you. You might never understand why certain things have happened. You might not see the conclusion in this life of the mysteries that have kept you awake at night. It is going to be OK though. God really and truly cares about you! He values you. He loves you so much. This is what you need to know, and this is what you need to stay focused on.

The Distributed Goodness of God

I just finished roasting three small batches of coffee on our electric range. Our apartment smells like a coffee shop. It is wonderful! Coffee has a special significance for me. It is a drink that I enjoy, but more than that, it is a way that God has specialized his goodness toward me.

“Who satisfies your mouth [your necessity and desire at your personal age and situation] with good so that your youth, renewed, is like the eagle’s [strong, overcoming, soaring]!” – Psalm 103:5 (AMP)

God is good in a general sense, but he is also vast in the depth of his goodness. His expression of goodness is not intended to be generic. He desires that it would be personal with us, so he tailors the expression of his goodness to our uniqueness. For me, coffee is one such expression of God’s goodness. Early in our marriage, my wife and I purchased a latte machine. I fell in love with it! A few years ago, the old machine was retired and a new but inexpensive model took its place. Recently, a gasket in the steamer wand started to deteriorate and needed to be replaced. When I checked online, it was not available from the manufacturer. My wife checked at the local hardware store, but they did not have any appropriate gaskets. At the end of that workday, I visited a local thrift store that I frequent. There on the shelf sat the same model. The espresso section appeared to have seen almost no use. Not only was I able to replace the gasket, but I received new parts for most of the espresso section of the machine.

A year or two ago, a coworker introduced me to the practice of home coffee roasting. I purchased some green coffee beans online, procured a twenty dollar hot air popcorn popper, and started roasting coffee for my own consumption. After a year, the popper died. I did not want to replace it due to its relatively short lifespan. When it seemed as though I would have to resort to oven roasting, God distributed more coffee goodness. The day before I intended to oven roast, an almost new Whirly Pop kettle popcorn popper showed up on the thrift store shelf for a rather low price. I took it home and found out that I could roast even better coffee than before.

Where has God blessed you? What areas of uniqueness has God imprinted into you? He values us as dearly beloved children. He is looking for opportunities to bless you. There are ways that God desires to distribute his goodness to you that will be meaningful to you personally. Do not be afraid to know who you are and to expect God to bless your uniqueness! 

Which Sort of Stone?

I have been thinking this week about an aspect of the victim mentality. When bad things happen to us, it is easy to believe that our future has been permanently blocked. We planned that our life would go a certain way, and then things went completely out of our control. We found out that we were not as strong, not as pure, or not as smart as we thought we were. The people that we relied on could not recognize us for who we will be in the future.

“And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross. Therefore God also has highly exalted Him and given Him the name which is above every name,” - Philippians 2:8-9

Jesus did not die a victor according this world’s way of thinking. He died mostly alone after having been falsely accused, mocked, and beaten. When they sealed his tomb with a large stone, it appeared that his life and his legacy had been cut off. It did not end there though. God redefined the tombstone to be a stepping stone. What looks like defeat can actually be the path to tremendous success.

Yesterday, I was reading an article about a nineteenth century shipwreck. Someone made a mistake, a ship was going down, and heroes were born that day. The article had a quote that stuck out to me: “History is made up of a lot of people who never made it into the books...It was filled with everyday people who got into a situation beyond their control.” My desire that I will be able to live my life with that truth in mind.  I want to have the type of faith that allows me to see tombstones as stepping stones.

God is the Strength of My Heart

At the end of high school, I participated in a 10 week bible training course. I received hours of teaching, but I remember little of what was taught. I am confident that each of the teachers had great truths to impart. It was the very best of what the institutional church had to offer me. The problem is that most of what is taught in the Church and to the Church springs from human wisdom. The truths that are most distinct in my memory are from those times in which the Holy Spirit spoke to me directly.

"My flesh and my heart fail; But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever" - Psalms 73:26 (NKJV)

There was a particular day during those 10 weeks in which I was feeling overwhelmed. In the years previous, I had received several prophetic words about the calling that God had placed on my life. I had been thinking about the long road ahead, and I felt quite discouraged. I was trying to figure out how I would find the necessary courage and motivation to carry me through. At the end of one of the teaching sessions, the minister prayed for each of us individually. As he laid hands on me, I fell under the power of the Holy Spirit. As I made my way to the floor, I began to hear a song playing in my heart. I had sung it many times before in that church, “God is the strength of my heart. God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever”. The Holy Spirit was reminding me that God would be my courage and my motivation.

It is my practice to remember, to mediate on, and to pray back to God the prophetic words that have been spoken over me. This is how I encourage myself in the Lord. I have many days where I find deep discouragement to be a temptation. Discouragement promises a false rest that comes from believing that God’s plans for my life are impossible and that I can give up on them. A couple of years ago, a friend spoke a prophetic word over me. She said that I looked at what God had called me to do and felt that it was impossible. The encouragement was that God calls me to do what I do not know how to do and that he would train me. Most importantly, my eyes had to remain on God instead of what he had called me to do.

I believe that God knows what he is doing. I am his work of art, and he values me! My greatest encouragement has been found in admitting that I cannot do what God wants me to do. I cannot perform at a high enough level to qualify for knowing him and experiencing him and being used by him. Thankfully, this whole life is about the goodness and kindness of God. The more that I am aware of my unworthiness, the more that I can rest in who God is for me. He is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

He truly is Lord of Lords

Today was a lazy Saturday morning. After I woke up and spent a few minutes talking to the Lord, I made myself comfortable on the coach and snoozed for a while. I dreamed the usual random dreams, but then I dreamed something meaningful. I was waiting outside of a building. The door was open, and Jesus was inside. He was ministering to a small group of people. The people seemed to be receiving different types of healing. As I sat outside the door waiting to go in, I made a decision: When I was able to approach him, I would not walk up to him causally. I would make my way to him and kneel at his feet to reaffirm his lordship over me. I thought of how easy it is to interact with him as the twelve disciples might have interacted with him. He is my friend after all, and yet he is so much more.

 “Then I turned to see the voice that spoke with me. And having turned I saw seven golden lampstands,  and in the midst of the seven lampstands One like the Son of Man, clothed with a garment down to the feet and girded about the chest with a golden band. His head and hair were white like wool, as white as snow, and His eyes like a flame of fire; His feet were like fine brass, as if refined in a furnace, and His voice as the sound of many waters; He had in His right hand seven stars, out of His mouth went a sharp two-edged sword, and His countenance was like the sun shining in its strength.  And when I saw Him, I fell at His feet as dead…” - Revelation 1:12-17

Whenever we speak of Jesus and whenever we pray to Jesus, we do so with the backdrop of how we imagine Jesus to be. Most of the time, I have seen the Jesus of the Gospels portrayed as the backdrop and even then, with a particular fuzziness. Jesus’ life on Earth was a season of his eternal existence. Until the end of his life, he was being qualified for the roles of Savior, High Priest, and Lord of Lords. He fully represented the Father, and yet his glory was held back here on Earth. In John 17:24, Jesus prayed, “Father, I desire that they also whom You gave Me may be with Me where I am, that they may behold My glory which You have given Me; for You loved Me before the foundation of the world.”

I wonder how my walk with God would change if my inner picture of Jesus was more like that of the Risen Lord seen in the Book of Revelation. I would like to believe the way that we represent Jesus would be forever altered if our faith rested in this image of a God-man so intense that it would cause the apostle John to collapse in front him. He is fully in character and in godhood what he was when he walked on Earth, and he is now fully revealed in the glory that he received from the Father. He is totally approachable and yet awesome in his person. He is merciful, and yet not one to be taken lightly. He is both the Lion and the Lamb of God. This God, this incredible being is the One that I will never get bored with. It is this amazing God that I long to know in a deeper way.

Graduation in the Kingdom

Graduation in this world’s system is a big deal. High school students and collegians intensively prepare for and then celebrate their passage of graduation. It is the epitome of success. Cards are sent, gift certificates are given, and new opportunities await the graduate. Graduation in the Kingdom of God is a time of celebration too, but it can look like failure in its gloomiest form.

I woke up early this morning from a dream about graduation. In the dream, I remembered God telling me a week or so previous that I was about to graduate to the next level. I made a choice in the dream to honor God regardless of how it would appear to others. I chose not to fear people, but I did not realize the cost. By the end of the dream, it appeared that I would pay the price of being alone, misunderstood, and rejected for my choice. There would be no one to congratulate me, and I would have to walk through a time of the unknown.

There is a difference between the act of graduation and the ceremony of graduation. You can graduate without being honored for it. You can grow to the next level and not have an audience to cheer for you. The process of graduation for Jesus was being rejected by men and living as a man of sorrows. His final graduation found him exposed, brutalized, and dying a very painful death. What a dark hour!

“My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.” – James 1:1-4 (NKJV)

Graduation in the Kingdom is often misunderstood. I have a couple of friends who are in the process of graduation. To many, it would appear that they are failures, but they are graduating! According to the dictionary, one of the early meanings of the word graduation was that of “refining of something to a certain degree”. The goal of the trials that God allows is that we would be perfected and completed. We are graduating into a place with God where we will trust him more, where we will love him with a more intentional devotion, and where we will fellowship with him in both his sufferings and his resurrection life.

During high school, my parents homeschooled me. We operated under a homeschool group that held quarterly meetings. In one particular meeting, they conducted a semi-formal graduation of students who had finished 12th grade. On this occasion, an 11th grader found out shortly before the meeting that she had enough credits to graduate earlier. It was a surprise graduation for her! There is an encouragement to be received: Do not give up. Your trials will not last forever. You will be refined, and you will graduate from your current place of adversity.

“Now to Him Who is able to keep you without stumbling or slipping or falling, and to present [you] unblemished (blameless and faultless) before the presence of His glory in triumphant joy and exultation [with unspeakable, ecstatic delight]—” - Jude 1:24 (AMP)

In spite of graduation celebration, there is the issue of disappointment. Perhaps, we expected to accomplish such and such before we thought of ourselves as graduates, but God is the one who decides when we are done with a trial. Maybe, we thought we would graduate with a particular group of people, but God is the Potter. He knows what he is trying to accomplish in us. We can trust him to be faithful to us in the trial, to bring us through to its end, and to perfect us according to his design.

More of Whom?

Growing up in the church, I was fortunate enough to take part in many high energy meetings. Those attending “pressed into God”. We prayed passionately and worshiped intensely. God showed up in many of those meetings. Rich measures of the prophetic were released. There was a sense of God’s presence that would fill the room. What starts with effort must transition into rest. There is a place of abiding, and the enemy of abiding is striving.

The religious spirit will take a passion for God and warp it into a sincere but exhausting performance for God. It says, “You experienced some of God because you exerted effort in spiritual disciplines. You must increase your effort to keep experiencing God”. The resounding cry of “More of God!” seems authentic, but it can move from hunger to desperate hunger to just despair.

A few years ago, the Holy Spirit showed me a truth about what he wanted from me. During a time with him, God told me that there was a room deep inside my heart. He wanted to fill that room, but he could not get into it. I saw the room completely caked over with paper mache that been formed from newspaper. I had no idea what he was talking about. It was not until a time of soaking worship with friends that it came to me. God was telling me that words spoken by others had stuck to me. The reports and opinions of men that formed a hard shell, causing me to become closed off in a deep place of my heart. I would imagine that I am still walking out the application of what God showed me. Just as there was a span of time between revelation and understanding, there is a span of time where healing is taking place.

At a couple of times in the last decade, my prayer life has shifted just slightly. I have found myself moving from “God, give me more of you” to “God, have more of me”. There is a place of intimacy with God. We have to press through the distractions to reach that place. When we have reached a place of being able to hear God’s voice though, the most gracious Person in the universe is waiting for us. God is not moved by our effort. He drew us to himself. It is in that place of intimacy that God wants to experience us and to fill every part of who we are. I believe that the cry of God is that we would let him fill every part of our heart. He wants more of us.

Whose Kingdom?

Recently, I have felt a strong sense of needing to obey God more closely. I have become more careful to honor him in certain areas, but it has not been a 100%. On Friday, God gave me a confirmation and a fresh urgency to obey.

At one point during the workday, the Holy Spirit reminded me of what Jesus said in John 18:36, "My kingdom is not of this world...". Then, I heard the Holy Spirit speak to my heart saying, "My people build kingdoms that are of this world, kingdoms that are in this world". He led me to the below message. It is not a short video, but I think it is worth watching. Its message was sobering to me. I believe that God is leading us into a closer place of obedience with himself. We are moving into a time where disobedience will become more costly than it is today.

Feed the Hungry

Pastors,

I believe that Jesus wanders through the masses, the crowds of people. He is saying, "Who will feed the spiritually hungry?". He is not speaking of those who ate a large meal 4 hours ago. He is speaking of the impoverished who live out of garbage cans. Don't get me wrong. They get a little care and concern. After all, they are good for an occasional photo-op, but few actually care for them as a shepherd cares for his sheep.

In my town, there are at least a couple of very nice buffet-style restaurants. They open their doors at a set time on Sundays. People come in their Sunday best and line up around the corner. The restaurant, the chef, and maybe even the owner obtain a place of praise and honor for their work. I am sure that they endure gossip born from jealousy and they receive criticism from the food experts. It is just business though, and it works well for them.

But when Jesus heard it, He replied, Those who are strong and well (healthy) have no need of a physician, but those who are weak and sick. Go and learn what this means: I desire mercy [that is, [readiness to help those in trouble] and not sacrifice and sacrificial victims. For I came not to call and invite [to repentance] the righteous (those who are upright and in right standing with God), but sinners (the erring ones and all those not free from sin). Matt. 9:12-13 (AMP)

Not all, but many pastors draw a reliable salary. It might not be a great deal of money, but it is basically dependable. They work hard for their people, and they congratulate themselves on the sacrifices that they make. It is true that in some places people work the front lines, but someone has to stay home to keep the lights on, right? It is enough to send money to support the front line work. That is biblical, right?

Pastor, if you are where the Holy Spirit has called you to be, that is great. Listen though, to what the Holy Spirit would speak to your heart. What if he has called you to leave your pastoral position? What if he has called you to move to another city, to work as a janitor, and to go love on the homeless people in the park? What if he has called you to be a "nobody"? Oh, not so you can write a book or go back to your congregation in a month to tell them about the plight of the poor.

What if he has called you to live as a nobody, to love nobody's, and to die a nobody, at least in the eyes of everyone who sees you on this planet? The greatest person to ever walk this planet was, "despised and rejected and forsaken by men, a Man of sorrows and pains, and acquainted with grief and sickness; and like One from Whom men hide their faces He was despised, and we did not appreciate His worth or have any esteem for Him". How much do you want to resemble Jesus?

I tell you that what is seen now as "successful church life" is not going to last forever. The foundations of this current church system are ROTTEN all the way to its stone foundation! Even now, the building sways back and forth. In a moment, it will shatter into a billion pieces. Only then will refreshing and cleansing come. All that man built will be washed away in a moment. Be careful that you are building on the foundation with materials that will not be washed away.

Does not Envy

Love does not envy, yet I have always struggled with envy inwardly. The form of Christianity that I have lived out most of my life made it shameful to be incomplete or immature. To be holy was to hide my flaws by putting on a perfect performance. It was to present my righteous acts as though they were the whole of me. Of course, the Bible says that all of our righteous works are like filthy rags in God's sight.

"But you have not so learned Christ, if indeed you have heard Him and have been taught by Him, as the truth is in Jesus: that you put off, concerning your former conduct, the old man which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts, and be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and that you put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness." - Ephesians 4:20-24 (NKJV)

In our age of intellectualism, we have studied the Bible with a microscope until we have lost the heart of what was being communicated. Ephesians 4 instructs us to put off fleshly acts, to renew our mind, and to put on godliness. Paul follows this with a list of things that the reader needs to put off. It is too easy for us to extract verses and to depersonalize them. Paul was addressing stuff that was actually happening in the Ephesian church. The first three chapters of his letter deal with our identity in Christ. It is those truths that we must renew our minds with. Paul exposed the sin, and he did so in the light of our identity in Christ.

"Therefore you are inexcusable, O man, whoever you are who judge, for in whatever you judge another you condemn yourself; for you who judge practice the same things. But we know that the judgment of God is according to truth against those who practice such things. And do you think this, O man, you who judge those practicing such things, and doing the same, that you will escape the judgment of God?" - Romans 2:1-3 (NKJV)

I am slowly learning that God is not ashamed of my weaknesses and flaws. It is the introduction to intimacy when I come into the light of his truth. His light exposes both the flaws and reveals his love for me. As painful as it is to admit my sins and shortcomings, it frees me from a greater bondage: self-righteousness. If I am honest about my struggles before God, it makes it harder for me to ascend a throne of judgement, a throne that positions me higher than my brother and my sister. Instead, I can sit with them in their struggles, not because I can fix them but because I can love them in their weakness.

"You will show me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy, at Your right hand there are pleasures forevermore." - Psalm 16:11 (AMP)

Love does not envy, and though it is my struggle for today, God's process will lead me to a more complete intimacy with Jesus and with other believers. It is an ultimate revenge against sin when the very thing that caused me to hide from God in shame becomes the thing that leads to intimacy with God. By confronting a sense of inner lack, I begin to enter into the presence of the only One who can deeply satisfy me.

Clay Pots with a Choice

God is the process of forming us into the likeness of Jesus. It is a collaboration though. We can actually chose to work against what God wants to accomplish. When that happens, he decides on a different outcome for us and begins to shape our lives accordingly.

“Woe to him who strives with his Maker!

Let the potsherd strive with the potsherds of the earth!

Shall the clay say to him who forms it, ‘What are you making?’

Or shall your handiwork say, ‘He has no hands’?

Woe to him who says to his father, ‘What are you begetting?’

Or to the woman, ‘What have you brought forth?’” - Isaiah 45:9-10

From my perspective as a clay pot, I do not understand what God is forming me into it. Many times, I have been angry and discouraged because I felt that my life was less than what I had hoped for. Yet, I am a clay pot in process. I cannot see the final product. Galatians 6 tells me that I will reap a good harvest but only if I do not lose heart. This process requires patience.

A few years, I dreamed of a small vegetable garden. I had been tending this garden of mine for a period of time. It was my custom to identify defects on the plants and to remove those defects. This particular time, I noticed that I had missed cutting away some defects on a plant. To my surprise, I saw that I now had fruit growing on that plant! All along, I had been cutting away immature fruit because I believed that it was a defect that I needed to rid myself of.

As I looked for Bible verses that speak about the relationship between the Potter and the clay, I was reminded of how crucial it is that we respond quickly to God. He works in us “to will and to do”. Oftentimes, he will work in us in a way that does not seem "spiritual", and he will lead us on a path that we would not have picked for ourselves. He can be trusted, but he will not demand that we trust him. God is amazing in the way that he has chosen us to be his workmanship and yet given us the ability to effectively decline him and to cause him to take an alternate path. I want to be sensitive to his heart, so I can work humbly with the Potter.

Relating Versus Obtaining Information

There is a difference between relating to Jesus and simply pursuing a knowledge of him. I love reading articles that give me the answers to deep questions. I have no finished answers for this topic. I am a man in process. There is some things that must be lived out though, so it is useful to share the questions.

As Americans, we understanding “knowing” as having received a set of information. God desires a different sort of knowing. It requires a process of getting to know God and just as important, it requires us letting God get to know us.

When I was a teen, I prayed with fervor and focused intently on spiritual pursuits. I kept a constant moral inventory of my inner life. I wanted to know God. I thought that trying hard enough was the price that spiritual people were referring to when they encouraged me to know God. At one point, a prophetic person in my life gave me a word of encouragement. He said, “You want to know God, but God wants to know you more than you want to know him”. I took the word as something like, “You are on the right track, but you are only scratching the surface of passionate pursuit of knowing God. You are underestimating what is involved in pursuing God. You need to keep at it and maybe try harder”.  The other day, I had a moment where that older word became fresh, and I understood it in a different light.

Relationship with God is always about two beings that are getting to know each other. What God was telling me so many years ago is that he wanted to know me, not just for me to know him. To know information requires mental focus. To be known in a relational manner requires vulnerability and oftentimes, it requires that we allow a space of time and availability for someone to get to know us.

"Rather, let our lives lovingly express truth [in all things, speaking truly, dealing truly, living truly]. Enfolded in love, let us grow up in every way and in all things into Him Who is the Head, [even] Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One). For because of Him the whole body (the church, in all its various parts), closely joined and firmly knit together by the joints and ligaments with which it is supplied, when each part [with power adapted to its need] is working properly [in all its functions], grows to full maturity, building itself up in love." – Ephesians 4:15-16

The risk of a post like this one is that some will read it and feel that they need to struggle more to know God. Others will justify themselves in their place of apathy.  There are truths that we cannot comprehend apart from growth and maturity. Each of us needs…an ongoing revelation of what it means to be loved by God and what it looks like to live out that love in our daily life with other broken, incomplete people.

Sprint!

On the night of February 14^th, I dreamed that my wife bought a Sprinter van for 14,000 at 14% interest.

I dream all sorts of dreams. Some of them are what I refer to as “pizza dreams” in honor of Ebeneezer Scrooge when he tried to explain away Jacob Marley's visit. He told Jacob he was just an undigested crumb of cheese.

“For God may speak in one way, or in another, Yet man does not perceive it.  In a dream, in a vision of the night, When deep sleep falls upon men, While slumbering on their beds, Then He opens the ears of men, And seals their instruction.” – Job 33:14-16

At other times, I have dreams that are very distinct. These dreams, I pay attention to. God still speaks to us in dreams. I search for detailed information contained within my dreams. Numbers can be important. The Bible associates different numbers to different meanings. The Divinity Code has been an excellent resource for me. Another resource is believers in the local body. There are those in the Body that God has graced with a special ability to interpret dreams. When I cannot make sense of a dream, I will sometimes reach out to one or two people in my life that have the gift of interpreting dreams.

The number 14 was used in the Bible to refer to the start of Passover. You can read about Passover in Exodus 19. In a nutshell, the enslaved people of Israel were to wait until twilight on the 14^th day. They were to prepare a lamb that that been reserved for this purpose. They were to eat the meal fully clothed and to eat in a hurry so that they would be ready to go when God released the final plague on Egypt.

God is up to something this year. He is going to do something special that is related to our passing over and to our deliverance. It is conditional on our being ready to move when he says to go. Essentially, this is the year where we will sprint when God says to move. In this season, our deliverance will be accompanied by a judgment against the enemy, divine protection for us, and supernatural provision to launch us on the next leg of our journey with God.

A New Track Ahead and Samson’s Fall

Recently, I heard the Lord speaking to my heart about a couple of shifts that are about to occur. We have a strong work ethic in the US Church. We believe that we are successful in Heaven’s eyes if we perform impressive acts here on Earth. We count hands, offerings, and big smiles. Signs and wonders are sought after because they feel like results achieved. We have a performance problem: We are trying too hard to do things for God. He has let us do this for a season. He has given us limited power and manifestation even when our motivations were questionable. It has been grace that carried us. It has been the goodness of God that is intended to lead us to repentance.

Things are now going to change, a little at first but then more. God is coming in a move that will be like a freight train. He owns the power, and He owes the track ahead. This time, the track has a third rail. The drive will not come from our strategies and tireless efforts. Heaven is going to power our forward motion. We have a learning curve ahead of us. Rest and obedience are the new burdens to be carried. Keeping step with Jesus as we walk yoked with him is the new focus.

Most assuredly, I say to you, when you were younger, you girded yourself and walked where you wished; but when you are old, you will stretch out your hands, and another will gird you and carry you where you do not wish.” This He spoke, signifying by what death he would glorify God. And when He had spoken this, He said to him, “Follow Me.” – John 21:18-19

When the glory of God is manifested, there is awe, relief from heavy burdens…and usually judgment resulting from a casualness about God. God brings his entire nature when his Presence comes into our presence. Those who would attempt to take hold of the third rail of God’s glory in this coming move will suffer serious consequences. The track ahead is not all together comfortable. Jesus, our King, is determining the track ahead. Our commission for the days ahead will sound like, “Take up your cross and reproduce the death of Christ on a daily basis”. It will be a full disclosure of the suffering that we are destined for and then a call to, “Follow Me”.

The track ahead is shifting. Many who started out well in their ministry will be derailed because they chose to set the pace and the direction of their ministry. The Conductor is about to fill his rightful seat. He will drive this move, direct the pace of this move, and take us into a place of personal suffering and submission.

Results in ministry has been the certificate of authenticity until recently. Like Samson, there are ministers who have lived in sin. It was a struggle at first, then a compromise in which they allowed the enemy to keep captured ground, and finally they accepted the enemy as a friendly neighbor. The people kept coming to the services, the programs produced smiles and nods, and the money was enough to fuel the vision that came from the heart of the leader. 

Lead and gold cannot remain bonded together. A fire must come to separate the two. Samson’s anointing is lifting. We will begin to see a new wave of leaders exposed, and we will watch them fall from their places of ministry authority. God is removing the idols from the high places. These ones lifted the heavy burdens, and they won the praise of men, but God had intended for them to be righteous and merciful judges who would deliver his people. The wave will start small and then will crest. It is the mercy of God that a few will fall at first in the hope that greater judgment might be averted through repentance.

Pursuing Refuge

I have had a couple of people suggest that I start a blog. I tend to be an introvert, so I have shied away from larger groups of people. It is time though for me to begin sharing more of what is on my heart. This is part of my journey to multiple the talents that God has entrusted to me. Like the foolish servant, it would be easy to hold back because the task of sharing seems so daunting and my resources so small in comparison to the need, but I choose to step out...

I welcome you to join me on my journey. I have things to share, and an invitation to extend to you. I want this blog to be a sharing of struggles, victories, and the intimacy of living life under God's grace. I am a clay pot being formed by the Maker, and in many ways, I am a broken clay pot....but what a beautiful place to live. I would not have it any other way.

God is my Machseh. He is my refuge, and I am pursuing him with passion. I have known much hurt and much brokenness in my life, and God my Refuge was there to hold me at every step. I believe that as I share my heart, you too will find him as your refuge in a deeper way.

Please read, comment on, and share any post that touches you at the heart level. I commit to share without pretense, and I challenge you to do the same!